ANYONE BUT YOU

It takes two to clap, or if you’d like, to tango.

Relationships work that way. Both parties need to put in effort into the love that they decided to share. And sorry to burst your Hollywood movie bubble, where love is fuelled by infatuation. The reality is, it’s not all cotton candy fluff with no substance.

There will be good days. Days when you are so happy that your soul felt weightless. On such days, nothing in the world matters, because your heart is overflowing with love, sometimes with a hint of delusion.

And then there will be bad days. Days when you argue about that stupid thing you suddenly remembered about from 3 weeks ago. On such days, everything horrible matters, because your heart is overflowing with so much anger, sometimes with a hint of delusion.

But if you truly love the other person, whether you have good or bad days, you choose them still. And you bloody well choose to fight for them even if it is the last thing you do. Because it’s worth it; because it’s not an empty and baseless relationship; because that person is your person.

The moment one decides to give up, the relationship ends. With or without distance getting in your way.

Maybe distance was the only way for us to figure out if we were right for each other.

Parts of me wanted to ask you to stay. To keep fighting for me. To fight for us. But a certain ideology impeded me from doing so. The idea that when someone loves you enough, they will stay on their own, without you asking them to.

Mirtha Michelle Castro (Letters, To The Men I Have Loved)

You do not have the privilege of breaking my heart and also being the one who tries to comfort me through the pain that you have put me through. You do not get to leave me so torn and also patch me back up. It simply does not work that way.

I welcome hugs and kisses. I welcome a kind word of comfort. I welcome love into my life. I welcome all these things from anyone who genuinely cares, I welcome all these things from anyone but you.

x