Where do I even begin?
This year was the toughest but also the most fulfilling year that I’ve had since law school. It started as the worst year and soon propelled me into my God-given destiny.
You see, when I had a rocky December in 2016, I told myself that if anything worse were to happen, I was certainly going to abandon God. And then it happened. I went through a breakup right after New Years. Not how I envisioned 2017 to begin. But somehow, God knew me better than I knew myself. Of course, the first person I turned to after my mother was Him because I knew that out of everyone, He would be the one who could get me out of my pit of misery.
In the midst of my newfound pain, things started to shift in my life and in such a good way. I was somehow dragged into attending Connect Group and it changed my life completely. It gave me wonderful friends and with them, I found a home. In fact, God even pushed me to serve in CHTBB, the children’s ministry in my church. A far cry from my days worship leading as a teenager. Even though chasing after tiny humans can cause perpetual exhaustion, every Sunday that I serve leaves me feeling so full! And as for work, I saw God giving me opportunities that I would never have envisioned for myself. It was just one surprise after another!
Now I’m not saying that 2017 has been easy. There were days that I would wake up and then proceed to loathe every fibre of my body for being so weak. There were also days when I felt so hopeless and lonely that I thought to myself, “Maybe I will die old and alone”. Very dramatic, I know. Through the years, I learned that it’s okay to be an emotional wreck sometimes. But when you begin to see God working in your day-to-day, everything is different. Your perspective changes. Life is a journey of self-discovery but a journey that you don’t have to go on alone. So although I’m as single as a single girl can be, I’m happy for many reasons. With the most important thing I gained from this year – God taught me to trust in Him fully.
For so many years, I felt the need for some Romeo to come and sweep me off my feet. I needed someone to save me from… I don’t even know what. My past? Myself? That fairytale impression I have of needing someone to save me dissipated into the depths of my hypothetical sea. God has already saved me when He gave up His life on that cross. No one can ever fill that void in my heart except Him. And that is the truth.
My ex once asked me, “What was the best year of your life?” to which I confidently answered, “The two years I had in the UK”. I didn’t even hesitate. Now that I think about it, life should get better with each passing year. My two years spent in the UK were the best years because I saw God work in my life every single day. And when I got into a relationship that had every red flag in the history of red flags, how could that year be better than the two years that God was more tangible in my life than ever before?
This was the year that God broke me and then restored me. This was the year I learned the true meaning of having faith. And this was, quite honestly, the best year I’ve had since leaving the UK.
It can only be a good year when you choose to allow God to hold your hand every day. And it’s a decision that I will never regret. After all, He does know best.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.
Bring it on 2018. You are going to be the best year yet!