EVEN IF

Photo by Adam Griffith on Unsplash

You reached out your hand towards me and naturally, I reached for it. Your grip was secure, sure and steady. In that moment, all fear dissipated and I knew then that we were infinite. Your smile lingers. I try to hide the butterflies but you already know how I feel about you. There are no secrets between us. You knew my heart as well as I knew yours. It’s been 2 years now, and yet I remember the details from that first night so clearly.

You reached out your hand towards me and naturally, I was hesitant. Was I ready to place my heart in another’s hand? Was I ready to do this all over again? Was I ready to let myself fall in love? And then without thinking, I reached for it. On that cool summer’s night, you told me that you wanted to love me. You laid out your soul underneath the stars. The wind and the shining lights were our witness. The atmosphere was unnerving. And despite the loud thumping of my heart outside my chest, you never once wavered. It was as though you always knew.

Our first kiss was soft and tender. Everything felt so delicate. I could barely catch my breathe but I took it all in – the mole on your left cheek and the scar above your brow; how soft your hair was and how much of it you had; your skin like porcelain and your scent a sweet musk. We spent the next 6 hours talking until sunrise. If heaven on earth could exist, that was it.

Everything about you was constant and I liked that. Being next to you gave me a sense of security I’ve never felt before. Everyday with you was amazing. Heck, even the bad ones were good. With each step, we knew we were on solid ground. Even as the hurricane swirled around us, our feet remained still and steadfast. There was never a need to turn the other way, there was never a need to run.

We stood on the edge of the waters, the waves were gently rippling over the sand. Above us, the moon was full and bright. You stared straight into my soul. Everything was bare and naked – there was nothing to hide, we don’t have secrets between us. I want to remember our story even when my memory fails. I want to remember you like this.

You were so beautiful, darling.
Even if it were just in my dreams.

x

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